Anyone who has ever been through an international adoption (or domestic) or knows someone who has, knows that it is a VERY complex and RISKY process. Yes, our adoption agency made all of this clear to us when we started the process in January of 2007. Yet we still dived into it with excitement and the mind set that just maybe WE wouldn't have to deal with all of those "issues" that may come up during the process. So, here we are 1 year and 9 months into this process and the first "issue" has come up, and it is an issue that could change our whole course.
Around the first of August, the Kazakhstan government changed their rules and regulations. They issued a statement that every child deserves a loving home and that you CAN NOT specify gender in your paperwork. If you did specify gender, your paperwork would be sent back to your adoption agency here in the US and you would have to start the process completely over, no matter how long your paperwork had been there. Well, we did specify gender because it was okay to specify when we started. We requested an infant girl, 18 mos or younger with minor correctable needs.
We DO agree with the Kaz gov't that all children have the right to a loving home...BUT COME ON...if this is truly their desire, PLEASE, JUST ASK these families if they are willing to accept any gender! Don't just send the paperwork back to the US and make us start over. This knocks thousands of families out of the program. Not only does this "prove a point" to families requesting a specific gender, but it RIPS HOPE from these innocent children who were SO VERY CLOSE to having their forever families. This breaks my heart...for our little girl that we will never know...for all of the other families who will never know the child that their heart longs for during this gruelling process.
As I type this, my fingers are going 90 miles an hour and my mind is racing with thoughts. It seems as if I type fast enough or say the right thing, just maybe the Kaz gov't will somehow hear me and just consider all of the families that were so close...and even those that had not been waiting as long...and JUST ASK US!!! YES, YES, YES, we will consider any gender! For a year and 9 months we have been preparing and waiting for our next little one to join our family, and now it seems we will have to wait longer.
We have several options, however we are in limbo and don't know what our next step will be. We have to consider each possibility and the pros and cons that come along with each. We have been burned and b/c of that we are hesitant to jump into another situation.
I have rambled on and have not mentioned our agency and what they have said. I spoke with the Kaz program director last Thursday. He has received dossiers (paperwork) back. As of last Thursday, ours had not been returned. We are still hanging on to that little bit of hope that for some reason, ours got passed on through. I don't know why it would have though, feels like we're just wishful thinking. The longest waiting family with our agency had their paperwork returned, so really there is no reason why ours will not be returned. But, like I said...there is still that little bit of HOPE left...right???
Some of our options include-
1-staying with our agency and choosing a different country/program that they offer. Country options...Russia (the wait time is 2-5 years(depending on gender specification) after your paperwork is complete...which can take 3-5 months) or Ethiopia (wait time can be 8-10 months AFTER you complete your paperwork...which can take 3-5months)
2-choosing a different agency and a different country. This involves more fees and contract costs for a new agency.
4-having a child of our own, then adopting at a later time.
We are at a loss for words. This adoption was it. It was how we were going to add to our family. We have invested a lot of emotions, time, money and effort into this. This is where our hearts were/are! If you are reading this, please pray that we will feel the same strong desire for what we are to do next. And PLEASE pray for these children who were SO CLOSE to knowing what a loving family feels like, and that the gov't in Kaz will rush families in and place these children with their forever families.
We will update as soon as we know any new info